June 30, 2021
Welcoming a new child is a joyous, life-changing experience for both you and your partner. You want to make sure you are doing everything you can to make them feel happy and loved while trying to take care of them as best as possible.
At the same time, these exciting moments also present new challenges. You are constantly seeking answers to questions like, “How much should I feed them? How do I know why they are crying? How much sleep should my baby get?” Making sure they get the appropriate amount of sleep varies depending on a baby’s age, and sleep time gradually decreases as the child grows.
An infant’s sleep time is important because they rely on high-quality sleep for both physical and cognitive development. Recent studies have discovered that the left and right hemispheres of a baby’s brain are strengthened while they sleep. These hemispheres are responsible for abilities such as language, attention and impulse control (The Importance of Sleep in Child Development, n.d.).
So let’s go over some common sleep facts for infants and toddlers, and help answer some typical parenting questions.
Sleep Duration
Newborns will typically sleep eight or nine hours during the day at various intervals and an additional eight hours at night. Daytime sleeping should occur around every 90 minutes, which is their average awake time until they are about five months old. These proper naps will help them sleep better at night. However, be prepared for some long nights for you and your partner at first as your child may not sleep through most of the night until they are about three months old (Infant Sleep, n.d.). You can be relieved that by six months, two-thirds of all babies are finally sleeping through the night.
While toddlers don’t require as much sleep as babies, they still need more than adults, so make sure they are getting 11-12 hours a day. This often includes a daily nap or two, which helps fight off the crankiness. The first nap of the day helps restore your child mentally and the second restores them physically. In the first 6 months, this first nap is the most important but as they become more active, they will need this second one just as much. A child who is refreshed is going to have more agreeable behavior patterns and a willingness to follow directions better. Not to mention being more affectionate, which we all love!
Why Won’t My Child Fall Asleep?
Getting an infant to sleep throughout the night is one of the most common challenges parents will face with a new baby, and you may often feel helpless and defeated when you’ve tried everything but nothing seems to work. Below are some common reasons children do not fall asleep quickly.
Overstimulation/Too Tired:
We’ve all see this one. A child is fussy and crying, and just doesn’t want to fall asleep. It’s common that they experience so many new events during their awake times that they become over-saturated and their brains don’t want to turn off. You would think that sleep would come easy but this is probably the most likely reason for them remaining awake. Believe it or not, babies aren’t born knowing how to fall asleep and need to learn this behavior through repetition.
Separation Anxiety:
Your child is used to his or her caregivers always being around, and when you aren’t, they feel that separation in a negative way. This is a normal stage of development and often happens around six or eight months of age once a baby has obtained a sense of “object permanence,” meaning they are used to their parents being around. They don’t understand that the separation is only temporary. This explains why he or she may stop crying once a parent enters a room again.
Illness:
This one is not always as likely but certainly something you should be aware of. It’s possible they have caught a cold or just aren’t feeling well. If this is something you suspect, you should definitely inquire with your pediatrician, especially if it reoccurs nightly.
Also be careful not to create experiences that result in a negative repeatable behavior. For example, if your child is fussy and you always pick them up and walk them around the room, they will become used to and require this activity to calm down. As a result, it will be harder to break this habit later. This is especially true for sleep patterns because as parents, you rely on this free time to get things done, and of course, you have to sleep as well. A 2019 survey discovered that on average, each new parent is deprived of approximately 109 minutes of sleep every night during their baby’s first year (Webber, 2019)!
As a parent, you don’t want to see your children crying, and it is typical for parents to rush to their child’s side when this occurs. Specifically for toddlers, you will find that if you give them a little tough love and allow them to cry themselves to sleep, the separation anxiety will eventually go away and you won’t be teaching them subconscious parental manipulation habits. They ARE tired, and they WILL fall asleep when they are ready. This self-soothing time is important so be strong!
Why is My Child Waking Up?
Babies will often wake up crying multiple times at night for a number of reasons. Trying to figure out why they are up is sometimes tricky but here are the three primary reasons:
Hunger:
If your baby is a newborn, it’s important to understand that their tummy is small, and he or she needs to eat every few hours, including late at night or during the early hours of the morning. The nice thing is that this mid-night feeding doesn’t usually take too long and you can lay them down for another few hours before the next feeding.
Separation Anxiety:
As we discussed before, your child wakes up expecting their caregivers to be around but when they realize you aren’t, they know just how to get you to appear. This is not a bad thing and of course it’s OK to sooth them but remember not to create habits that foster this constant co-dependence. Remember that separation anxiety starts around 6 months and it is here that they should be starting to learn some independence.
Discomfort:
Your baby might be in need of a diaper change or they might just feel uncomfortable in their sleep environment if the room is too hot or too cold. Again, be on the lookout for any signs of teething, sickness or infection and be sure to consult your healthcare provider.
Falling Asleep
Now, let’s get to what you really want to know…what are some techniques to get your child to fall asleep regularly? There are various specific techniques to help make the bedtime process smoother for parents and the child:
Do
- Establish a solid bedtime routine and schedule (i.e. you might give them a bath at a certain time right before reading them a story).
- Make bedtime early. At 8 weeks, they have a rise in melatonin which will cause them to feel drowsy around sundown. Regardless of when the sun actually goes down, try to stay on a routine time schedule. Repetition is important here!
- Provide a comfortable sleep environment (dim lights, warm room, blankets for soothing).
- Soft, gentle lullaby music or even white noise is helpful at lower volumes
- Experiment with different sleeping tips such as playing lullabies before bed. Sing them songs or read them a story to sooth them. This works great for toddlers, but even for infants, the sound of your voice is definitely soothing to them.
- Give them a familiar (but safe) toy to fall asleep with. This helps the self-soothing process and gives them some relief for when they wake up in the middle of the night.
Don’t
- Feed to fall asleep before bedtime (Note that this is OK for middle of the night wakings)
- Go on car rides
- Walk/rock them to a full sleep state
- Let them sleep in the bed with you
These are all techniques that lead to co-dependent routines. Your child will come to expect these at bedtime and it will be hard to break them of these behaviors.
The Nuryl Sleepy-Time Playlist
The Nuryl app has a great new feature to help soothe your child to sleep. First a little history: Aside from exposing their children to the Nuryl curriculum while they were active, we found that a lot of our Nuryl parents were also using it to lull their child to sleep. While it is possible for children to fall asleep to the Nuryl curriculum, the music is really meant to be played for the child while they are active and awake, to really help stimulate their brains and encourage the pruning process. You’ll notice that a lot of the pieces are very active themselves and not specifically conducive for sleep.
This led to us creating a new feature in the most recent update to the Nuryl app called the sleepy-time playlist. It consists of 17 songs created specifically in lullaby form (60-80bpm, soft soothing sounds) to supplement your child’s curriculum and help them fall asleep faster.
The instruments used range from piano, to strings, and even a few pieces performed on harp. The response from our Nuryl parents has been wonderfully receptive, with many stating their child falls asleep faster due to these new soothing pieces of music.
This sleepy-time playlist is also great for older children as well as adults to get a quick little break from the busyness of the day and create a relaxing bonding period with their child. We are so proud of this new feature and hope you have time to check it out in the subscribed version of the Nuryl app!
You Can Do This!
Preparing your baby for bed or nap time can be frustrating and it won’t always be easy, but these methods should help demystify the process. The next time you are faced with this sleep challenge, keep these tips in mind and try playing a few lullabies from the Nuryl sleepy-time playlist. We are sure you will be happy with the results!
Resources:
Gagne, C. (2021, January 6). 6 most popular baby sleep-training methods explained. Today’s Parent. https://www.todaysparent.com/baby/baby-sleep/most-popular-sleep-training-methods-explained/
Infant sleep. (n.d.). Stanford Children’s Health. Retrieved June 23, 2021, from https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=infant-sleep-90-P02237
Ruddy, E. Z. (2021, March 1). How to Put a Baby to Sleep. Parents. https://www.parents.com/baby/sleep/tips/five-ways-to-help-baby-sleep/
The importance of sleep in child development. (n.d.). Enfamil. Retrieved June 23, 2021, from https://www.enfamil.com/articles/importance-of-sleep-child-development/
Webber, J. (2019, August 28). New data reveals just how much sleep new parents are losing nightly. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/new-parent-sleep-study#Heres-what-the-survey-found
Melanie
Playlist is always good idea! I have few of these! Since sleep training and settling the nighttime routine it’s been a part of the thing. I’ve been using Susan Urban’s book: https://www.parental-love.com/shop/toddler-sleep-training at around a 1yo. It worked perfectly and having a routine is a must, having a routine with a playlist is so much more fun!
Elen
I’ve been using the exact same book! I loved the HWL and I’m a big fan of Susan Urban’s guides. It worked in a twinkling!